i just cant resist blogging before i head off to mug in a while.

common tests are almost over, and i finally can breathe a sigh of relief.
although i didn't mug much...well...haha.

i clearly remember how lifeless i was at the beginning of this yr,and i'm very glad that i'm getting my MOJO back! actually, not exactly, cos i felt really sad in the cab just now.
i felt like i didn't know what to say or do anymore, and i don't seem to be in control of things i would want to be in control of. especially my emotions. i really should pluck up whatever shred of courage i have left, and just freakin ask or confess, whichever way is easier for me.

it hit me squarely in the face just now, when i peered at my calender, pondering what date it was today. and then i saw a particular date, and it suddenly struck me that he was coming back like very freakin soon, and i just stoned.i felt like crying, but i can't seem to let the tears flow. i don't know what to do or say anymore. maybe i'm tired, or maybe its just the fact that i have let it rest at the back of my head. most probably its because i have gotten used to it, gotten used to the fact that i love you as much now, even though u're so far away, and that i have gotten on with my life. i don't think about it so much now, but i definitely miss you, and love you still.

love is simple, really. people just choose to complicate it. how true. call me a coward, but there are reasons to why i choose to leave it the way it is. consequences, and of course, changes. as cliche as it may sound, i would let nature take its course for the time being.
decisions are crossroads on which the path turns different ways. and it's not about doors not opening for you, it's whether you choose to open them for yourself.
making the right decision, no matter how wrong it seems to others, is important, because at the end of the day, it's you who lives with it, no matter right or wrong. i've changed into someone who doesn't dare take risks, because along the way, i've learnt and i'm very sorry to the ppl i've jacked and hurt. it's just called being cautious, and i don't see any error in being cautious, or even overly cautious. but maybe in the future, i might be wrong about myself. and i hope i do not regret the decisions i've made throughout my life.

thank you to the ppl who have stood by me through thick and thin. i am indeed very grateful to have friends who are extremely down-to-earth, non-superficial and accept me for who i am. i count my lucky stars everytime. every single time.

giving up doesn't mean that you're weak, it only shows that you are strong enough to let go. : lena-1.40am